Parenting

This week we focused on parenting our children. There was a lot of good discussion and a lot of participation from different class members. It's nice to know that even though we may all belong to the same church that our opinions can vary so much. It's also nice to know that for the most part we can keep pretty civil during most of our discussions. Overall, I was interested to study this topic more in depth over the course of the week. I'm also taking a parenting class this semester in addition to a parent education class so more exposure to parenting topics is definitely of high interest to me right now. Here are a few things that I have learned this week that I thought that I'd share. (Sorry if it's a bit jumbled - but that's just how my brain works these days - yay for being pregnant!)

Differences between parenting styles and parenting practices:
  - parenting styles: constellation of behavior over time (group of behaviors)
  - parenting practices: specific behaviors to achieve specific goals

Marital Satisfaction with Children:
  - It's not about the "kids" in a marriage, it's about you and your spouse and there needs to be aspects of life that don't involve the children. Such as date nights without the children and conversations without  the children which aren't about the children.

Types of Discipline:
  - Reinforcement - goal: get more of the same behavior
         * positive: (adding something) privileges, rewards, etc.
         * negative: (taking something away) privileges or removing chores
  - Punishment - goal: stop the behavior
         * positive
         * negative

Influencing Your Children:
**If you want to increase influence with your children you need to increase the quality of relationship with the child **

 20 Minute Solution
- Spend 20 minutes with the child every day of the week
- Parents cannot ask questions
- Parents can only give positive narration of the child's activities
- No questions are allowed to be asked by parents
- Parents cannot have "teaching moments" with their child

Misbehavior often occurs out of a manifestation of a need that isn't being met. By addressing the behavior, the need continues to not be met and the same amount or more misbehavior will occur.