This week we've been talking about "getting involved," falling in love, and choosing a life partner. All three of these things are very important steps for anyone in their lives. It's been very interesting to see the research that has been done in these areas and to see how they fall in line with the teachings guidance we receive from our church leaders. More specifically though, we talked about the three different levels of communication; superficial, personal, and intimate. Reaching the point of intimacy in a relationship takes effort from both people. Some of the ways that we discussed that intimacy can be built in a relationship are:
* Sharing emotions
* Sharing of needs
* Sharing of thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and fantasies
* Sharing of self awareness
Although many of us interpret "intimacy" to be associated with romantic relationships intimacy can also be part of a friendship as well. According to a study done by Keith Davis in 1985, friends have the following eight characteristics:
* Enjoy being with each other most of the time
* Accept each other as they are
* Trust each other to act out of concern for the other's best interest
* Respect the judgments of each other
* Help and support each other
* Share experiences and feelings
* Understand each other's feelings and thoughts
* Feel at ease with each other, so that the relationship is based on openness and honesty rather than pretense
After reviewing these characteristics, I thought about those that I consider myself to be in friendships in and I realized that if I were really to have these qualities in my friends I would also need to have the characteristics myself. Needless to say, I have some work to do!
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