Why Family?

With so much going on in the world today, the question can be asked "Why Marriage?" Many believe that marriage is a dated tradition that doesn't have a place in modern society. There are many other changing patterns as well, such as an increase in premarital sex (did you know that some of the early Puritans were pregnant when they were married - who would've thought - right?), births to unmarried women, living alone, cohabitation, delayed marriage, birth rates, household size, employment of mothers, and divorce. This is a lot, I know so let's break it down a little bit. (note: All statistics and information are from our course textbook Lauer, Robert H., and Lauer, Jeanette C. (2009) Marriage & Family: The Quest for Intimacy, 7th Edition. Boston: McGraw-Hill. or class discussion unless otherwise noted)

Premarital Sex:
Premarital sex has always existed and at the rate that things are developing in today's world, it probably always will.  However, recent studies have found that we have seen a decrease in the percentage of high-school teenagers who have had sexual intercourse at least once. In 1991, the survey found that 54% had been involved in sexual activities but in 2010 it was reported by the Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics that only 48% of high-school teenagers had reported having sex. Hopefully we'll see even more decreasing numbers in the future.

Births to Unmarried Women:
Where the rate of teenagers having sex has decreased, the rate of children born to unwed mothers has increased. When we look at a larger time frame, the rate of children born to unwed mothers has been slowly increasing for decades. In 2007 it was reported that 39.7% of all births were to unmarried mothers. This is a general statistic but they vary depending on racial and ethnic backgrounds.

Living Alone:
More and more people are living alone. In 2009, it was reported that 31.7 million Americans were living alone. Surprisingly, of that number more women than men were living alone. There are various reasons that people live alone such as becoming widowed, divorced, separated, or have never married. Some of these people will make the choice to remain in the living alone lifestyle while others will marry or remarry. The challenge of living alone are endless and varied but the bottom line is that those that are living a solitary lifestyle still need to have their needs met, they just have to seek out others to help them fulfill those needs.

Cohabitation:
Cohabitation - a simple word meaning "living with someone in an intimate, sexual relationship without being legally married." (Whoever condensed all of that into one word was a genius!) 6.1 million unmarried couples were living together in 2008 within the United States, this included 754,000 same sex couples. This is a huge increase from only 430,000 cohabiting couples in 1960. Most of these couples are under the age of 40 and many of them have children under 18 living with them as well. (What kind of message is this sending to the children and future of America?) One of the myths that are associated with cohabiting is that it is a way to test out the compatibility of living with the other person and therefore "beating the odds" of the high divorce rate. This really isn't the case. We discussed the conflicts and consequences of cohabitation in my FAM 100 class last winter semester. Many of these relationships are subject to domestic violence and abuse as well as child abuse. (Does this really sound like such a great idea now?)

Delayed Marriage:
"Between 1950 and 1970, half of the females who married did so by the time they were 20.5 years old, and half of the males who married did so by the time they were 22.5 years old ... By 2007, the figures were about 26 years old for females and 28 years old for males." There are many factors to consider when studying the age at which people get married such as family background, religion, involvement of the father within the home, etc. Everyone's situation is different. Some don't marry due to choice, for others it is due to circumstance. For these situations I think it best to remember the counsel given to us in Matthew 7: 1-5.

Birth Rates:
A trend has been established that more women are having children later in their lives, having their first child in their mid (sometimes even late) 30's. This means that they will inevitably have fewer children which has created a decline in the birthrate. "In 2008, the rate was 13.9 births per 1,000 women aged 15-44 years, a little more than half of what it was in 1954 and less than half of what it was in 1910." Waiting until later in life to have children is risky business, biologically our bodies are programmed to slow down on the emphasis of the baby making process as we age. The longer we wait, the more the clock ticks. A realization that sadly comes to late for some couples.

Household Size:
As expected, with the increase of more people living alone and a decrease in the birth rate household size has decline as well. If we go WAY back to 1790, the average household had 5.8 people. This number has continued to decline. In 2008 the average household was only 2.56 people. We studied this trend briefly in an Interior Design class a few semesters ago. Not only are we seeing a decrease in the number of people living in a household, we're also seeing an increase in the size of the homes that people are living in. Fewer children are sharing rooms, more bathrooms are "needed" within a home, and despite the fact that as an American society we are eating out more than we ever have before our kitchens have grown to enormous proportions.

Employed Mothers:
Since the 1950's, women have been involved in the growth of the economy more and more. The number of married women who are employed increased from 23.8 percent in 1950 to 62.6 percent in 2007. We see the biggest increase of mothers who go to work with children who are under six years of age. 1987 proved to be a record making year. For the first time over half of new moms were returning to work after having their first child. In some family circumstances, employment for mothers is a matter of necessity and the extra income is needed to help support the family. Other mothers choose to work outside the home to provide better lifestyle and living conditions for their children or they find fulfillment for themselves.

Divorce:
The actual numbers of those who divorce have been exaggerated in the past years, but it is true that the divorce rate has seen an increase. During the mid-1970's the United States became home to the highest divorce rate in the Western world. Post 1981, the divorce rate seemed to level off and decline slightly. Since this time, the divorce rate has slowly, slowly declined. The current divorce rate is currently about the same as it was during the first part of the 1970's.

Now that we know all of this information, we're left with just one more question - so what? As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I strive to live by the counsel found in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. It states in it's closing paragraph, "We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society." (Want to know more about the this document? visit http://lds.org/family/proclamation?lang=eng) How do we strengthen the families of the world? One family at a time, starting with our own.